Armed with nothing but a baseball bat and street smarts, Rochester, NY, resident Curtis Jones is ready to go toe-to-toe with what he swears is a mountain lion on the loose in his neighborhood. “It went right over there, and it said ‘Rawr!’” Jones told reporters, gesturing with the seriousness of a man who’s seen things. “I seen it, see me, see it.” Translation: mutual eye contact was made, and it was primal. Jones isn’t alone in his claim. Several Rochester residents say they saw the sleek, shadowy feline slink through their streets last Wednesday, prompting a brief shelter-in-place order while police and drones scoured the area. The Monroe County Sheriff’s Office and even Seneca Park Zoo confirmed all their lions were still properly enclosed, but Jones remains unconvinced. “They ain’t find it last night,” he warned. “It’s still out here—could be in one of these bushes.” Jones described the animal’s stealthy movements with the precision and articulation of a wildlife narrator: “It be ‘Rawr,’ they be crawling, you know. They serious.” Asked if he’s ready for a showdown, Jones tapped the bat resting near his porch and said firmly, “I don’t play with lions. I don’t even do roller coasters.” Authorities are still investigating. Jones, meanwhile, remains on high alert. (YWN World Headquarters – NYC)