Dear Editor, I read the recent heartfelt letter about the shidduch crisis with deep emotion and full agreement. The pain, frustration, and desperation felt by so many parents of Bnos Yisroel is real — and it is unacceptable that our community has allowed this “shidduch crisis” to persist for so long, largely unchallenged. While the new initiative encouraging girls to wait until Shavuos to begin dating, and boys to return earlier from Eretz Yisroel, is a step in the right direction, it must be the beginning — not the end — of our communal introspection and action. We can no longer ignore a glaring truth: the system is broken. And it is man-made. The numbers don’t lie, and neither does the heartache of thousands of wonderful, accomplished young women waiting months and years just to begin the process. There is one phrase in particular that must be addressed head-on — even if it makes some uncomfortable: the “shidduch freezer.” It has become a sacred cow in some of the larger yeshivos, where boys returning from Eretz Yisroel are told to “settle in” before they are allowed to date. This policy, once created with the best intentions, has become deeply harmful. It must stop. We need our yeshivos — especially the major ones — to lead with courage. They must stop enforcing artificial delays in dating, and instead work hand in hand with the Gedolim and askanim who are trying to restore balance and save a generation from unnecessary pain. Likewise, may I be bold enough to raise another sacred assumption: that every boy and girl must go to Eretz Yisroel after high school or be labeled as “less than.” While there are immense benefits to learning in Eretz Yisroel, we must stop treating it as the only path to success, especially when it creates real hardship in the shidduch parsha. Is it possible that our communal pressure for every 18-year-old to spend a year (or years) “running around” in Eretz Yisroel — disconnected from the timeline and needs of the broader community — has contributed to the very crisis we are now so desperate to fix? Yes, talmud Torah is a supreme value. But so is building a bayis ne’eman b’Yisroel. And so is listening to our Gedolim when they say, “It’s time to change the system.” Let’s have the courage to act. To speak up. To change. To bring our boys home a bit earlier, and let them begin building their futures without unnecessary delay. And let’s give our daughters — each one a precious neshamah — the dignity and chance they so deeply deserve. This is not a crisis of emunah. It is a crisis of community responsibility. We now have the opportunity — and the obligation — to fix it. Sincerely, Y.R.B. The views expressed in this letter are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of YWN. Have an opinion you would like to share? Send it to us for review.