I am writing to express my profound outrage and disgust regarding an article titled “Pre-Date Meditations” by Eli Hoffmann, published in the Family First section of Mishpacha magazine, dated June 4, 2025. The piece, appearing in a publication aimed at women, is an insensitive and narcissistic rant that shamelessly trivializes the experiences of countless girls and women navigating the dating world, particularly within the context of shidduchim. Hoffmann’s self-absorbed narrative—detailing his routine of dates with a detached, almost mocking tone—reveals a staggering lack of empathy. His casual dismissal of the emotional labor involved in dating, coupled with his apparent pride in his own indifference, paints a portrait of a man who sees women as mere inconveniences rather than individuals with feelings and hopes. To publish such a piece in a women’s magazine is not only tone-deaf but deeply insulting to the thousands of girls and women who have endured the pressures and vulnerabilities of this process. At one point, Hoffmann describes dating as “just another day at the office.” Really? As a girl in shidduchim myself, do you know how insulting that is? Do you know how many hours go into preparing for a date, how many butterflies we push through as we step into a complete stranger’s car, how much emotional energy is spent hoping and davening that maybe, just maybe, this one will finally be the one? And this is how you view it? Like a fly on your shoulder you’re getting ready to brush off? It’s outrageous. No wonder you’re not married yet. And I feel for the girl who does marry you—because if this is your mindset, you’ll see her as a commodity, a disposable item that can be swapped out for the next “more exciting” version. That is not how a ben Torah should think, and it’s certainly not how a frum publication should allow women to be portrayed. Couple this with his view on shidduchim as a whole. He essentially says: Who cares if this girl works out or not? I’ll get married anyway, right? At least I’m not a girl, right? Is this man a sociopath? That kind of glib dismissal is chilling. To see himself as the inevitable winner, while the girl is just another face in the queue he can afford to discard—it’s repugnant. This isn’t “honesty” or “transparency”; it’s cruelty disguised as cleverness. The audacity to frame this as a “view from the other side of the mechitzah” while reducing women to stereotypes and sidelining their perspectives is beyond comprehension. Hoffmann’s self-centered musings—complaining about the “monotony” of dating while showing no regard for the impact on those he dates—scream narcissism. I can only pray that “Eli Hoffmann” is not his real name, for the sake of any woman unfortunate enough to marry such a self-absorbed individual. Mishpacha magazine owes a public apology to the countless women and girls smeared and insulted by this article. The Family First section should uplift and respect its readership, not demean them with such callous content. Sincerely, C.S – A real girl with real feelings struggling with Sidduchim The view expressed in this letter are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of YWN. Have an opinion you would like to share? Send it to us for review.